Day Five:
"Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." Eph. 4:29
Another way to describe the positive side of this "30-Day Encouragement Challenge" is by using the word "edify," which means, "to build up." Negative comments only discourage and tear down. Positive comments encourage and build.
Do you edify your husband before others, adding to his value in their eyes? This is especially important to other family members.
Do you praise your husband to his relatives, and yours? Does your husband's mother know how much you love him? How about your dad? Perhaps you can drop a word of praise into a conversation or letter. Be creative in letting your relatives know that you respect your husband, love him, and support him - in spite of whatever flaws and weaknesses he may have.
My Take:
How is everyone doing? See Paula's comment on the last post. Great insight! Keep going, ladies! As soon as MDH (My Dear Husband) awakens from his nap I'm going to praise him for the first thing that comes to mind, because there are SO many things I could tell him I appreciate about him!! I hope it's going well for all of you!
Friday, February 23, 2007
Devotion: The Sacred Us
The Sacred Us
By Amy Carroll
Titus 2: 3-5, “…teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live… (and) to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” (NIV)
Devotion:
She didn’t even know that I was watching her. Friends of mine had told me that a woman at our church named Deborah had decided to never speak negatively about her husband. Although I truly loved my husband and thought he was wonderful, he wasn’t perfect. I wondered what’s the real harm in complaining about him some to friends and coworkers who have plenty to say about their husbands?
Just hearing about Deborah’s commitment challenged my heart. I began to watch her and her husband for signs of a difference. I also listened to her carefully to see if she really stuck to it. She did, and the fruits of her faithfulness were obvious. Deborah and John had been married far longer than I had, and also had three beautiful children, but they acted like they were still on their honeymoon. Their devotion was untarnished by the mistrust and bitterness caused by a critical heart and complaining lips.
I haven’t done it perfectly, but I now catch myself when I start to “vent” or complain about my husband. I think about how terrible I would feel if I walked into a room and heard him speaking negatively about me. Women seem to struggle much more in this area, but I think it’s a place where God is calling us to greater self-control.
I’ve seen lots of fruit in my marriage, too. When I speak well of my husband, I tend to think well of him too. He has so many virtues—why should I focus on his few little imperfections? Praising my husband to my friends actually grows my love for him, and that’s always a good thing. I also don’t ever have to worry about what I’ve said that might be repeated to him.
I have come to believe strongly in something I call “The Sacred Us.” We have a bond that is stronger than any bond I have with another person. There are things that only the two of us share. Although I LOVE to talk, I don’t need to tell everybody everything.
If there are problems between the two of us, I can always pour out my heart to God, and scripture encourages us to do just that. I also have cultivated relationships with several godly, truth-telling women who love my husband as much as they love me. They will listen, offer godly counsel and tell me in a skinny minute if I’m the one who’s wrong. This type of women are the only ones to share problems with when we need someone with whom we can pray and problem-solve.
Let’s you and I resolve to be the “Deborah” amongst our friends. Without even knowing it, she changed many of the marriages in our church for the better. I desire to be that godly example so that the bond between my husband and I is strengthened day by day but also so that the world would see a difference and that God would be glorified.
Dear Lord, please help me to control my tongue. I need your help to praise my husband instead of criticizing or complaining. In times of crises or conflict, remind me to turn to you first. Bring godly women into my life that will join with me in this endeavor so that we can encourage each other. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
By Amy Carroll
Titus 2: 3-5, “…teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live… (and) to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” (NIV)
Devotion:
She didn’t even know that I was watching her. Friends of mine had told me that a woman at our church named Deborah had decided to never speak negatively about her husband. Although I truly loved my husband and thought he was wonderful, he wasn’t perfect. I wondered what’s the real harm in complaining about him some to friends and coworkers who have plenty to say about their husbands?
Just hearing about Deborah’s commitment challenged my heart. I began to watch her and her husband for signs of a difference. I also listened to her carefully to see if she really stuck to it. She did, and the fruits of her faithfulness were obvious. Deborah and John had been married far longer than I had, and also had three beautiful children, but they acted like they were still on their honeymoon. Their devotion was untarnished by the mistrust and bitterness caused by a critical heart and complaining lips.
I haven’t done it perfectly, but I now catch myself when I start to “vent” or complain about my husband. I think about how terrible I would feel if I walked into a room and heard him speaking negatively about me. Women seem to struggle much more in this area, but I think it’s a place where God is calling us to greater self-control.
I’ve seen lots of fruit in my marriage, too. When I speak well of my husband, I tend to think well of him too. He has so many virtues—why should I focus on his few little imperfections? Praising my husband to my friends actually grows my love for him, and that’s always a good thing. I also don’t ever have to worry about what I’ve said that might be repeated to him.
I have come to believe strongly in something I call “The Sacred Us.” We have a bond that is stronger than any bond I have with another person. There are things that only the two of us share. Although I LOVE to talk, I don’t need to tell everybody everything.
If there are problems between the two of us, I can always pour out my heart to God, and scripture encourages us to do just that. I also have cultivated relationships with several godly, truth-telling women who love my husband as much as they love me. They will listen, offer godly counsel and tell me in a skinny minute if I’m the one who’s wrong. This type of women are the only ones to share problems with when we need someone with whom we can pray and problem-solve.
Let’s you and I resolve to be the “Deborah” amongst our friends. Without even knowing it, she changed many of the marriages in our church for the better. I desire to be that godly example so that the bond between my husband and I is strengthened day by day but also so that the world would see a difference and that God would be glorified.
Dear Lord, please help me to control my tongue. I need your help to praise my husband instead of criticizing or complaining. In times of crises or conflict, remind me to turn to you first. Bring godly women into my life that will join with me in this endeavor so that we can encourage each other. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Day Four
Day Four of the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge found at: http://www.reviveourhearts.com/topics/30-day-challenge.php
Day Four:
"...let him labor, working with his hands what is good..." Eph. 4:28
We are all accountable for the things we say, both negative and positive words. Have you embraced the challenge to speak only positive things to your husband and to others about him? Here's a suggestion that touches the core of your husband's world.
Some women take their husband's career for granted, and they show it in many ways. Do you "dump" on your husband at the end of the workday, or do you strengthen and encourage him with your words? A wise wife will make her husband feel that she values and appreciates his work. Let him know that you are glad he is a hard worker. Take opportunities to praise his diligence and resourcefulness to others.
If your husband is out of work, unable to work, or refuses to work, you'll need to be more creative. Praise him for a character quality that you see in him that would be a vital part of a successful career - such as persistence, decisiveness, strength, an analytical mind, organizational skills, good with people, good listener, determination, etc.
My Take:
I have gotten so much feedback from people wanting to begin this challenge. I pray we all stay committed and encouraged. I pray that you each are strengthened, protected from spiritual warfare, and that all of our marriages grow stronger and glorify the Lord.
Day Four:
"...let him labor, working with his hands what is good..." Eph. 4:28
We are all accountable for the things we say, both negative and positive words. Have you embraced the challenge to speak only positive things to your husband and to others about him? Here's a suggestion that touches the core of your husband's world.
Some women take their husband's career for granted, and they show it in many ways. Do you "dump" on your husband at the end of the workday, or do you strengthen and encourage him with your words? A wise wife will make her husband feel that she values and appreciates his work. Let him know that you are glad he is a hard worker. Take opportunities to praise his diligence and resourcefulness to others.
If your husband is out of work, unable to work, or refuses to work, you'll need to be more creative. Praise him for a character quality that you see in him that would be a vital part of a successful career - such as persistence, decisiveness, strength, an analytical mind, organizational skills, good with people, good listener, determination, etc.
My Take:
I have gotten so much feedback from people wanting to begin this challenge. I pray we all stay committed and encouraged. I pray that you each are strengthened, protected from spiritual warfare, and that all of our marriages grow stronger and glorify the Lord.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Day Three
Day Three of the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge found at: http://www.reviveourhearts.com/topics/30-day-challenge.php
Day Three:
"...love suffers long, and is kind..." 1 Cor. 13:4
"And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:19
Love indeed suffers long and is kind. As you consider your Encouragement Challenge, determine today that you will not say anything negative to or about your husband. Speak kindly to him with words of genuine encouragement.
If your husband is considerate of your needs, let him know that you have noticed. Thank him for his kindness and consideration. Thank the Lord that your husband knows how to be both tough and tender.
Sometimes it's difficult for a man to be gentle, kind or tender - especially if he hasn't had role models in these areas. If he's not a considerate person, appeal to him for help without complaining. Let him know that it's hard for you to handle some things alone. Then, when he moves in to help, don't insist that he do it your way. Be glad that he is responding, and express your gratitude. Ultimately, you can't expect your husband to make you feel more secure, loved, etc. Remember that only God can meet the deepest needs of your heart.
My Take:
How are you ladies doing? Today went really well for me. I don't think I said anything negative to my husband and I don't think I used tone. I've also thanked him for his help and I've shown my appreciation for the ways he serves me and others. So far I haven't told anyone else the good about my husband. But I will. Hmmm... I'll do it now. MDH (My Dear Husband) gets my car door for me. I really appreciate this about him!
So tomorrow we focus on thanking our husbands for being considerate. I like taking each day and looking for the good things he IS and DOES. There are so many when we look for them!
God bless you and your marriages as you continue!
Day Three:
"...love suffers long, and is kind..." 1 Cor. 13:4
"And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Phil. 4:19
Love indeed suffers long and is kind. As you consider your Encouragement Challenge, determine today that you will not say anything negative to or about your husband. Speak kindly to him with words of genuine encouragement.
If your husband is considerate of your needs, let him know that you have noticed. Thank him for his kindness and consideration. Thank the Lord that your husband knows how to be both tough and tender.
Sometimes it's difficult for a man to be gentle, kind or tender - especially if he hasn't had role models in these areas. If he's not a considerate person, appeal to him for help without complaining. Let him know that it's hard for you to handle some things alone. Then, when he moves in to help, don't insist that he do it your way. Be glad that he is responding, and express your gratitude. Ultimately, you can't expect your husband to make you feel more secure, loved, etc. Remember that only God can meet the deepest needs of your heart.
My Take:
How are you ladies doing? Today went really well for me. I don't think I said anything negative to my husband and I don't think I used tone. I've also thanked him for his help and I've shown my appreciation for the ways he serves me and others. So far I haven't told anyone else the good about my husband. But I will. Hmmm... I'll do it now. MDH (My Dear Husband) gets my car door for me. I really appreciate this about him!
So tomorrow we focus on thanking our husbands for being considerate. I like taking each day and looking for the good things he IS and DOES. There are so many when we look for them!
God bless you and your marriages as you continue!
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Day Two
Day Two of the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge found at: http://www.reviveourhearts.com/topics/30-day-challenge.php
Day Two:
"...through love serve one another." Gal. 5:13b
How did you do yesterday with your first day of blessing and encouraging your husband? Was it easy? Was it hard to hold your tongue when you wanted to say something negative? We hope you're off to a good start. (If you blew it, don't give up - start again today!) There are so many practical things you can praise, if you look for them.
Today, find some way that your husband is serving you or your family. Does he help around the house? Take care of the car? Fix things that are broken? If your budget allows, give him a new, small tool with a big bow attached. But make sure he doesn't think it's part of a "Honey Do" list!
Maybe your husband's not a handyman, but does he run errands for you? Let you go first? Take care of you when you are sick? Help you make decisions? Praise him for his willingness to serve others. Let him know that you see his unique service as a great strength.
My Take:
And don't forget the daily requirements:
*You can't say anything negative about your husband ...to your husband...or to anyone else, about your husband.
*Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband...to your husband...and to someone else, about your husband!
God bless you and your marriage!
Day Two:
"...through love serve one another." Gal. 5:13b
How did you do yesterday with your first day of blessing and encouraging your husband? Was it easy? Was it hard to hold your tongue when you wanted to say something negative? We hope you're off to a good start. (If you blew it, don't give up - start again today!) There are so many practical things you can praise, if you look for them.
Today, find some way that your husband is serving you or your family. Does he help around the house? Take care of the car? Fix things that are broken? If your budget allows, give him a new, small tool with a big bow attached. But make sure he doesn't think it's part of a "Honey Do" list!
Maybe your husband's not a handyman, but does he run errands for you? Let you go first? Take care of you when you are sick? Help you make decisions? Praise him for his willingness to serve others. Let him know that you see his unique service as a great strength.
My Take:
And don't forget the daily requirements:
*You can't say anything negative about your husband ...to your husband...or to anyone else, about your husband.
*Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband...to your husband...and to someone else, about your husband!
God bless you and your marriage!
Day One Update
Hi everyone!
Well, it's 5pm. So far, so good. I told my husband and a friend some things I admire and appreciate about him. I also told him that I love him when he first woke up this morning. This afternoon I told him that I'm glad I'm his wife, I want to be a blessing to him forever, and that he can always count on me to be by his side/in his corner. THAT is what got the biggest response. He stopped me there and told me that carried a lot of weight and meant a lot to him. Hmmm..... I could say 'I love you' all day long and not get that kind of reaction! I must remember this....
As far as the OTHER requirement... Did I say anything negative to anyone else about my husband today? No. Did I say anything negative to my husband today? No. Did I use "tone". Yes. :( But at least I'm aware of it and repent! I realized that I would 'make a point' using tone. I did it about 2-3 times today. That's not good. That's one of the things I want to stop. I mean, how hard is it to say, "Honey, this is how I feel." or "Honey, can we do that a different way?" So I recognized it and I'm determined to change it.
I'll post Day Two's guide soon! I'm so sorry I didn't get it on here sooner! I was gone all day...
Blessings,
Dana
Well, it's 5pm. So far, so good. I told my husband and a friend some things I admire and appreciate about him. I also told him that I love him when he first woke up this morning. This afternoon I told him that I'm glad I'm his wife, I want to be a blessing to him forever, and that he can always count on me to be by his side/in his corner. THAT is what got the biggest response. He stopped me there and told me that carried a lot of weight and meant a lot to him. Hmmm..... I could say 'I love you' all day long and not get that kind of reaction! I must remember this....
As far as the OTHER requirement... Did I say anything negative to anyone else about my husband today? No. Did I say anything negative to my husband today? No. Did I use "tone". Yes. :( But at least I'm aware of it and repent! I realized that I would 'make a point' using tone. I did it about 2-3 times today. That's not good. That's one of the things I want to stop. I mean, how hard is it to say, "Honey, this is how I feel." or "Honey, can we do that a different way?" So I recognized it and I'm determined to change it.
I'll post Day Two's guide soon! I'm so sorry I didn't get it on here sooner! I was gone all day...
Blessings,
Dana
Monday, February 19, 2007
Day One of the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge found at: http://www.reviveourhearts.com/topics/30-day-challenge.php
DAY ONE
"The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life." Prov. 31:11-12
To refresh your memory...here's the 30-Day Encouragement Challenge...for the next 30 days:
*You can't say anything negative about your husband ...to your husband...or to anyone else, about your husband.
*Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband...to your husband...and to someone else, about your husband!
To help you get started, have you ever thanked your husband for "choosing you" above all other women? He found you attractive as a person, and appreciated you. Though many circumstances in your marriage may have changed, let your husband know that you are glad God led you together, and that you want to be a blessing to him for the rest of your marriage. Let him know that he can trust you to be in his corner.
One of the best opportunities to express your gratitude is first thing in the morning. How do you greet your husband each morning? Is he confident in your love? Give him a "wake up call" that he'll never forget-a big "I love you" and an "I'm so glad I'm your wife!"
My Take:
- Let me know if you're participating, if you'd like, by posting a comment.
- Begin the challenge with prayer! You'll need it!
- I'm beginning Tuesday February 20th but you can begin whenever you'd like.
- God bless you and your marriage!
DAY ONE
"The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life." Prov. 31:11-12
To refresh your memory...here's the 30-Day Encouragement Challenge...for the next 30 days:
*You can't say anything negative about your husband ...to your husband...or to anyone else, about your husband.
*Say something that you admire or appreciate about your husband...to your husband...and to someone else, about your husband!
To help you get started, have you ever thanked your husband for "choosing you" above all other women? He found you attractive as a person, and appreciated you. Though many circumstances in your marriage may have changed, let your husband know that you are glad God led you together, and that you want to be a blessing to him for the rest of your marriage. Let him know that he can trust you to be in his corner.
One of the best opportunities to express your gratitude is first thing in the morning. How do you greet your husband each morning? Is he confident in your love? Give him a "wake up call" that he'll never forget-a big "I love you" and an "I'm so glad I'm your wife!"
My Take:
- Let me know if you're participating, if you'd like, by posting a comment.
- Begin the challenge with prayer! You'll need it!
- I'm beginning Tuesday February 20th but you can begin whenever you'd like.
- God bless you and your marriage!
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